Friday Update

My apologies I have been wanting to blog sooner but the time, and my energy, is going fast these days. My repeat hysterscopy was Wednesday. At my clinic, conscious sedation is used, so I don't remember too much of the procedure. I did wake up halfway through the procedure, which was quite interesting! In the end I learned, as I always have, that everything looked beautiful...seriously those were the words used. UGH. to say I was relieved was true, but also kind of sad that again we have no answers. I kept asking over and over again what they found. Even today, my nurse called to follow up and I said was it the drugs or was everything really ok. She laughed and said that it was excellent. no abnormlities and a beautiful uterus. I should feel lucky, I have recovered fine. I didn't even need an Advil, almost like it never happened.

How does everyone handle this type of news? Am I strange for wanting them to find something? Some answer. I couldn't help but to ask myself tonight; what will it be like when this is over? when i no longer wonder why or when and I am driving home to my baby. I would pay anything for this to be over. if someone could just tell me what to do I would do it. But I am left with asking questions and getting no answers. My RE states it best" my advice is to make embryos and put them in your uterus". He is a huge believer in persistence. I feel as though 4ivfs in 10 months...hmmm ladies doesn't that sound persistent enough?