Thankful

I hope everyone had a great day yesterday with family and friends. I love fall and the holidays. Living on the east coast it is a beautiful time of year. I am incredibly thankful for many things.

1. My husband, my partner in life. The one thing I love blogs is that i get to hear good things about people in others' lives. My husband is no exception. He just amazes me. He has been on this journey with me the entire time. We make decisions about next steps together. His strength has amazed me. I think back to our last ER when the doctor asked him again if he wanted to be present in the room. On that day there was a shortage of a specific drug for anesthesia. After explaining that there was great possibility that the retrieval would be more traumatic as I might "feel" more than normal; he remained in the room holding my hand the entire time knowing that I would want every detail of how each possibility of life was retrieved. He still, after more shots than I want to recall, tears up after every injection and thanks me every single time.

2. my family and friends. most have no clue what we are going through. I must say that is part of the journey that I enjoy. I love my privacy and making difficult decisions has been easier between us. Regardless we feel their love each day. My nephew and nieces: my buggie and my butterflies (more on them to come). The fill my cup of life and damn near knock it over. My love for them is endless.

3. My nurse manager and my clinic. These people amaze me. Too many instances to recant but they go above and beyond and never seem to tire. emails, texting, hugs...their ability to be present in the moment is a gift from above. To my RE who answered his cell phone in the OR prior to surgery to answer a few more questions before a holiday...you rock my world!

4.  my health. very simply my health is my obsession. I have lost a considerable amount of weight over the years. Most of my days now are spent eating as healthy as possible, exercising and generally making life choices so that my life leads into the direction that I want. I respect my health above most things and am thankful that my body has sustained the torture of multiple IVF cycles this year.

5. My cycle. Last year AF arrived on both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, lovely I know. I am thankful that this year I didn't need a physical reminder of this failure in my life. I also am thankful that I get my period monthly, without intervention. I know many of many of women who struggle with irregular cycles, and pain. AF has always been good to me, regular and non traumatic. for that i am grateful as it makes this process so much easier.

I hope all of you had a great day. And for anyone reading who has experienced a loss recently, failed cycle, or is realizing that they will need to start this journey; my thoughts and prayers are with you. And for the many of us that are thankful for so many things in our life, but desperately want this journey to end and for our babies to join us..godspeed.