Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Boston Pride

I grew up right outside of Boston. The events yesterday have literally rocked my world. My day started yesterday by checking in with FB and watching a video of my brother in law at the start line with my 2 nieces and nephew. A tradition they have done for the past 7 years. He is an avid runner and lives for this event. He is also a teacher who was enjoying the start of a well earned spring break. My husband had called me at work, as I have no internet access, and told me of the events not knowing that our family were there. The next 12 minutes both of us tried to reach everyone in our family and could not. In those minutes I could not cry, breathe or think. All I could think was please god let nothing happen to them. Finally, my husband called and I told him to go back on FB; he did and my bother in law had posted a message that everyone was safe. On most days I hate FB and am relieved to not have internet access during the day to avoid the general grandstanding that happens on there.  But yesterday the imagination of social media brought me gratitude. Cell phones had shut down and given he had posted a video of his family at the race, even more people were calling to make sure they were ok. Social media was one of the main reasons most people were able to get a message out. I am so grateful.

As the day progressed I could not help but to think where my life was at. I spent the morning at a monitoring appointment. Worrying about this and or that. Does this all matter? Do I want to bring a child into this world knowing that there is pure evil. My heart is aching for those families who lost someone and or who are seriously injured. I feel uneasy, on edge, and very unsure. I am spending my time and money towards a possibility of maybe having a child. My energy is completely absorbed by it. Am I wasting my time? Should I appreciate what I have? I also know that if I were a mother, I could not be as brave as some were and run to help others. I would grab my kids and run. I know it is awful, but watching the footage i envy those who don't think of them self first. That is not me. My instinct would be to get me and my family safe. Horrible I know. I just pray that these events stop in our world. It is too much, it is too close. I worry for the children being born that this world has become pure evil and this is how they will need to live.

Boston-in my heart today and always.


  1. I am so happy to hear that your family is safe!!

  2. Happy to hear your family is safe.

    Patton Oswald (comedian/actor) posted the status below yesterday. Hopefully it will help you out of your concern over evil. (Excuse the language)

    "Boston. Fucking horrible.

    I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."

    But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

    But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.

    But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

    So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'"

  3. I'm so glad your family is okay. It truly is a travesty and hard not to think about the evil that is out there, but good truly does trump evil. Hugs!!

  4. My parents were at the finishline 0.1 miles from the bomb and left 5-10 minutes before it went off, it's been really surreal. The tragedy did put my recent BFN from IUI#1 in perspective, but did also make me wonder how hard it is to bring a child into the world these days.