Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Update

I have enjoyed my hiatus of blogging but thought it was time for an over due update. I have been loving reading all of my blogs; seeing baby pics of miracles, and ultrasound updates of others. It makes this journey more hopeful for all of us.

My long awaited hysterscopy was yesterday. things did not go as planned. The background is that I have been diligent with SHG and other hysterscopies to keep track of my what has been told to me as a perfect uterus. this past SHG showed one abnormality, I have never had any. When I awoke from anesthesia yesterday I was informed that I needed an emergency d and c. 20, that is right, 20 polyps were in my uterus! I nearly lost my shit. How does that go undetected despite a hysterscopy less than 6 months ago which was normal and btw demanded by me and not medically indicated. this prompted a wtf email to my clinic today. I am tired of waiting for a baby and a pregnancy that was deserved to me along time ago. if this feels like i am complaining, than so what I deserve to. I actually felt better hashing it out with them today. we have spent a small fortune. I learned that mine were so small that they were missed on the test. I ask you how does anyone ever get pregnant. I feel better today and know that I am a very strong advocate and could give two shits who I piss off at this point. My poor husband is more worried about me having cancer now and all of this, in my opinion, could have been avoided. If anyone has any polyp stories, please share.

My plan is to move forward. I accept that estrogen grows polyps but I will not give up on having a child. The anesthesiologist kept asking what pain meds i use for retrievals, and scopes; i was like uh mmm yeah none. she said wow you are strong. my only thought was you people have no clue how strong i am. I plan to pick myself up, use every resource I have, and push my doctor to the limit. I let him know outright if you have given up on me you can tell me and i will go elsewhere but if not game on. It is all I can do right now.


My apologies for my harshness today; I will be nicer next time.

12 comments:

  1. No need to be nice. Be what you need to be and say what you need to say. That's the beauty of these blogs.

    Wishing you your BFP in no time!!

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  2. GO you!!!!! Don't apologize!

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  3. Oh my! Go you for causing a well deserved stink over this! I'm so glad you went in for this procedure so they could at least find this problem this go round. But like you said, how in the world did this go so undetected? Hopefully that is one problem resolved and you can make a serious go at this next cycle!

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  4. thanks amber, we have already started another cycle! i am so loving your updates~!

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  5. The great thing about blogging is it is a place for us to dump our feelings without having to apologize!

    Hello from ICLW! Love the blog background ;-)

    Best wishes to you!

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  6. just wanted to let you know i think of you and keep you in my prayers always. i hope you're doing well and that this month has been good to you. <3<3<3

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  7. Hi! I am new to your blog. I am so sorry you have to go through this! You have every right to complain at this point. You are so strong! I hope you get the answers you need and your take home baby soon!
    Looking forward to following your journey :)

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  8. Hey you! I was just stopping in to see how you are doing. Hope you are doing okay. I don't see an email address anywhere, so hope you get this comment instead!

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    Replies
    1. Amber thank you so much for writing

      I am still here and not pregnant! Our final OE IVF-number 7 for us resulted in a chemical and we moved on to donors and had a fresh BFN and a recent FET BFN. We are now working with yet another clinic on uterine receptivity. I am not so confident things will work out for us but am glad i proved that it was never my eggs. Sadly for those of us unexlained there might never be answers and or a baby. I do read your log like all of the time! Thank you again for the reach out it was very sweet

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  9. Amber thank you so much for writing

    I am still here and not pregnant! Our final OE IVF-number 7 for us resulted in a chemical and we moved on to donors and had a fresh BFN and a recent FET BFN. We are now working with yet another clinic on uterine receptivity. I am not so confident things will work out for us but am glad i proved that it was never my eggs. Sadly for those of us unexlained there might never be answers and or a baby. I do read your log like all of the time! Thank you again for the reach out it was very sweet

    ReplyDelete